She Never Cried In Front Of Me
by Rachel Noelle
Summary: Gin reflects on his relationship with Matsumoto as he watches her wedding from the top of Sokyoku Hill.


_A/N: A short drabble'ish fic, based on Toby Keith's "She Never Cried In Front Of Me." Gin reflects back on his relationship with Matsumoto as he watches her wedding to Hitsugaya from Sokyoku Hill. _

_Please read and review!  
-Rachel Noelle_

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7:35, she's someone else's wife

_Now I can get on with my life  
__And that thrills me  
__She married him today  
__Her daddy gave the bride away  
__I heard a tear rolled down her face  
__And that kills me  
__Cause now I…  
__Can see why…  
__She's finally cryin'…_

Gin looked out across Seireitei. From his position, well disguised, on Sokyoku Hill he could see all of the fanfare in the center of the division ten headquarters. It surprised him and pleased him, as saddening as it was, to see that in the midst of chaos and war, she was able to find love. From what he could tell, her dress was beautiful, adding to her natural beauty splendidly.

The vision of the height difference between the newly married couple caused Gin to grin widely. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he always knew the shorty would end up with her, since the first time he'd seen them interact. She was crying, though, he could tell. He hated that. Matsumoto, no, Hitsugaya now, Rangiku did not cry. It was simply not in her nature. Ukitake, it seemed, gave her away.

Now, she had the chance he could never give her. She was putting her old life behind her, and devoting everything she had to her new life, her new love.

_How was I supposed to know  
__She was slowly letting go  
__If I was putting her thru hell  
__Hell, I couldn't tell  
__She could've given me a sign  
__And opened up my eyes  
__How was I supposed to see  
__She never cried in front of me_…

Looking back, he could see how much shit he'd drug her through. Perhaps, if he'd just tried, only once, to be true to her, truly open up and let himself care for and love her, like she so desired… Though he could see it in her eyes, and when she slept and he could sense her dreams, she never said anything. No signs that she needed more. She rarely expressed any desire for anything different from their relationship, no deeper meaning, no truer love, nothing. She never cried. That would have been a blasphemy upon her soul.

He knew now… She'd worked all those years, since the time they entered the academy, to let go of him. To be ready for the day when, subconsciously, she knew he would leave her, and not come back.

_Yeah maybe I might've changed  
__It's hard for me to say  
__But the story's still the same  
__And it's a sad one  
__And I'll always believe  
__If she ever did cry for me  
__They were tears that you can't see  
__You know the bad ones  
__And Now I…  
__Can see why…  
__She's finally cryin'… _

Maybe. There was a possibility that he would have tried harder, loved deeper, cherished more. He knew, when she first wrapped him around her finger, when they were young, he would have given her the world. If he had to murder everyone in it, he'd have given her the world. But then… There was a shift that neither realized, neither were capable of changing it back. Their relationship morphed into the carefully crafted distanced love he established.

He supposed, whenever that change occurred, probably the first time he left her, that must have been when she started letting him go. Allowing him to pull away. She couldn't hold him down, and she wouldn't have. She needed something he didn't know how to give, but the temporary respite she received from their love making seemed to satisfy her when she thought she could go on no more.

_How was I supposed to know  
__She was slowly letting go  
__If I was putting her thru hell  
__Hell, I couldn't tell  
__She could've given me a sign  
__And opened up my eyes  
__How was I supposed to see  
__She never cried in front of me_…

He was clueless. It was as simple as that. He just… didn't know. How does one set about to recognizing that?

_Without a doubt I know now how it ought to be  
__Cause she's gone and it's wrong and it bothers me  
__Tomorrow I'll still be, asking myself… _

He saw it now. He could recognize that letting her go was the greatest mistake of his life. But, with his mistake, she gained a true happiness. And he guessed that… well, that made him happy, if only a tiny bit.

_How was I supposed to know  
__She was slowly letting go  
__If I was putting her thru hell  
__Hell, I couldn't tell  
__She could've given me a sign  
__And opened up my eyes  
__How was I supposed to see  
__She never cried in front of me_…

_How was I supposed to see  
__She never cried in front of me. _

_Hell I couldn't tell_

Gin heaved a sigh as he disappeared into the shadows, silently wishing the newlyweds a true "Happily ever after." He couldn't see that he and Rangiku were falling apart the way they did, until it was too late. But, he trusted the young prodigy to treat their Rangiku like a queen.

She would cry in front of Toshiro, he was sure.


End file.
